Coupled Off
by volta arovet
Summary: Set in the future of the digiworld, most of the digidestined have been paired up. This light-hearted fanfic deals with the two who haven't found anyone special: Joe and Izzy.


**Coupled Off**

_By volta arovet_

This is my first Digimon fanfic. Please, be kind. I don't own Digimon, and I don't make any money off of this. If I did, would I be busy posting here? No, I'd be at my beach house in Pulau Tioman. So be thankful that I don't make any money off of this.

It was night time in the digiworld. The fire whispered and crackled gently, seeming to murmur a soft lullaby to the sleeping digimon. It was a quiet night after an improbably active day. Four evil digimon had been fought. Four evil digimon had been defeated. Eight tired digimon lay asleep, as well as two young digidestined.

TK and Kari were curled up next to their respective digimon, sleeping the deep sleep that only pure innocence can attain. Mimi was sitting on a stump, peering into the fire's hypnotic flames. Matt stood only a few feet behind her, seeming to stare not at her but through her back. A look of deep deliberation was plastered across his handsome features. Both of their digimon were sleeping nearby, exhausted by the day's work.

Sora and Tai sat close to one another, their heads pressed together in muted conversation meant only for each other's ears. They were probably only talking about the day's events, nothing too personal, but their mannerisms lent every trivial word a small feeling of intimacy. Like the others, their digimon were also sleeping nearby.

Izzy sat with his back to the fire, ignoring the others. He was deeply rapt in his work, a look of intense concentration dominating his face. Tentomon slept next to him, humming a quiet, electronic-sounding snore.

Discreetly watching everyone else was Joe Kido, his half-closed eyes intelligently peering at those around him. He was leaned up against a tree, a sleeping Gomamon's head lain across his lap. He was absentmindedly rubbing Gomamon's odd orange Mohawk.

He observed the two sleeping children, sweet cherubim now oblivious to the dangers of the world. He saw Sora giggling softly as Tai put his hand over hers. A slight movement to the right caught his attention—Matt had stepped up to Mimi and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him in surprise, a delicate blush on her cheeks. Matt whispered something in her ear. She turned away from him for a moment, a thin crease of concern marring her face. Finally, she looked back at him and nodded. Matt held out his hand and Mimi took it. Together, they left the fire circle, probably heading towards the riverbank.

Joe's focus finally shifted to the one other person not attached to anyone else: Izzy. "Hey, Izzy," Joe whispered, not wanting to disturb the sleepers.

Izzy didn't hear him, or if he did, he ignored Joe. In fact, Joe thought that Izzy's concentration on his computer was quite pointed.

"Izzy!" he whispered again. Still, there was no response. "Isumi!"

Izzy finally looked up from his computer. "Yes, Joe?"

"Come over here," Joe said, motioning with his arm. With a sigh, Izzy closed his laptop. Giving Tentomon a final pat on his back, he walked over to where Joe was and plopped down beside him.

Izzy opened his laptop and began working again. "Well?" he said, not looking up from the screen. Joe got the distinct impression that Izzy's work was not nearly as important as he was trying to make it appear to be.

"Have you noticed something?" Joe asked, not giving many clues to what he was referring to.

"What?"

"It's finally happened," Joe said morosely.

"Since you did call me over, would you mind telling me what's finally happened?" Izzy asked, a bit impatiently.

"Matt just left with Mimi, and by the looks of it there was something between them. It's official. Everyone else has 'coupled off'," Joe said.

"You mean, everyone else has become a pair?" Izzy asked, understanding what Joe meant.

Joe nodded his head sadly. "I should have known it would happen, sooner or later. In stressful situations, people are known to form couples. It's basic psychology. I remember reading about it before we got transported here."

Izzy looked at Joe out of the corner of his eyes. "You know psychology?" he said incredulously.

Joe mocked at being taken aback. "Hey! I may be a nervous wreck, but at least I'm an informed nervous wreck. I can learn psychology. It doesn't mean that I can use it on myself." He smiled to show that it was a joke. Izzy rolled his eyes and turned back to his laptop.

"So?" Joe said.

"So?" Izzy returned.

"What do we do now?" Joe asked.

"What can we do?" Izzy asked rhetorically, tapping away at his computer. Joe again had the distinct impression that Izzy's work was not as important as he was making it out to be.

"Here we are: two eligible, handsome, intelligent bachelors, and not one single woman in sight." Joe ruffled his fingers through Gomamon's fur, eliciting a sleepy murmur of appreciation from the furry friend.

A bemused looked entered Izzy's normally serious face. "I guess the odds of finding a prom date out here are slim to none," he joked.

"Not unless you want to date a digimon," Joe agreed. They both instinctively looked at their own digimon.

Joe heard a choked snort of laughter coming from Izzy. He turned to see Izzy looking away from his laptop, his black eyes shining with amusement. Joe cocked his head to indicate that Izzy should say what he felt was so funny. "Can you imagine a digimon in a prom dress?" he said, and the normally serious boy laughed again.

Joe groaned. "You weren't there, but when Mimi was acting like a princess, she got Palmon to dress up in this pink, frilly dress." He shook his head again. "That is a scary sight I don't think I ever want to see again." Their eyes met, and both burst into laughter.

Gomamon, woken by the shaking of Joe's body when he laughed, lifted his head off of Joe's lap. He opened one eye and raised one ear. Joe ran his hand through Gomamon's Mohawk, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry, buddy. Go back to sleep. I'll try to keep still." Gomamon hrumphed and lowered his head back onto Joe's lap, his large forepaws hanging over the far side of Joe's legs.

Izzy leaned over towards Joe and whispered, "How do you think Gomamon would look in a tux?"

This set the pair laughing again. "This is sad," Joe admitted between morose chuckles. "Because of all my experiences in the digiworld I think I'm finally mature enough to be in a serious relationship, but whoever it is that sent us here messed up the boy-girl ratio."

Izzy looked at Joe and suddenly realized that he had indeed changed. He didn't seem so on edge, so full of nervous energy anymore. In fact, he could almost say that Joe seemed relaxed. A twig snapped in the woods off to their right. Joe's head swiveled towards it instinctively, his eyes bulging beneath his glasses. Joe looked like he was ready to jump out of his skin and start running in four different directions at once. 'Then again…' Izzy thought to himself.

"What was that?" Joe hissed. The two listened for a moment and heard the sound of voices whispering.

"It's just Mimi and Matt," Izzy whispered back.

Joe visibly relaxed. "Oh," he said sheepishly. The two stared at the fire in silence for an indeterminable amount of time. "So I guess it's the two of us together," Joe finally said.

"Paired by default," Izzy agreed. The two stared into the fire again. A thought occurred in both of their minds simultaneously. They turned to look at each other awkwardly. "Joe, I—"

Joe cut him off. "Izzy, there's something I should probably tell you," he said stiltedly. Izzy nodded, his black eyes filled with worried. Joe took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Izzy, I think you're a great—"

Izzy placed his hand over Joe's mouth to silence him. Surprise was apparent in Joe's unfocused blue eyes. "Joe, I think I should tell you this first. You're a good person and a great guy, but I just don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry if it looked like I was interested in pursuing a relationship with you, but I'm simply not that way. I hope you understand," Izzy ended weakly, looking away from Joe. He hated telling that to a friend. He hoped that Joe understood that it was for the best, but he didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings.

Izzy's hand was still pressed over Joe's mouth. He could feel Joe shaking. This was a bad, bad sign. His friend was crushed so badly that he was convulsing with tears. Izzy gingerly removed his hand from Joe's mouth. Loud, hysterical laughter escaped from Joe's mouth.

Sora and Tai's heads turned as one to face Joe. "Joe?" Tai asked.

"Are you all right?" Sora finished, concerned.

Joe nodded his head weakly. "I'm fine, fine. It's just that…" he waved his hands in the air to show that it was of no importance, then broke into a fresh burst of laughter.

"What do you suppose he thinks is so funny?" Sora asked Tai.

Tai shook his head. "When it comes to those two, sometimes it's best not to ask."

Gomamon lifted his head off of Joe's lap and glared angrily at him. "Do you mind?" he said peevishly. "Some of us are trying to sleep." He stood up, turned away from Joe, and, haughtily shaking his orange mane, walked away from him. He carefully padded around Izzy, his big forepaws making soft thudding noises as they hit the ground.

Joe fumbled with his glasses, finally getting them back on his nose. "Gomamon, where are you going?" he asked.

Gomamon looked at Joe over his shoulder, the purple markings around his eyes raising sarcastically, much like a human's eyebrows would do. "I'm going over here to find a pillow that doesn't move so much or make as much noise."

"Aw, come back here. I promise I'll try to keep still and be quiet," Joe said.

"That's what you said last time," Gomamon pointed out.

"You know, when you're tired, you complain more than I normally do," Joe teased.

"Hey, don't insult me," Gomamon joked, turning back to Joe. "You promise not to move any more?"

Joe held up his right hand, his first two fingers extended up. "Scout's honor."

Gomamon cocked his head to the right. "Well…" He broke into a swift run, leaping over Izzy, computer and all. He landed in Joe's lap, knocking Joe over. Gomamon's oversized forepaws were on Joe's mouth, his pale green eyes peering into Joe's blue ones. A mischievous smile was on his face. "Hey Joe, what's a scout?"

Joe awkwardly removed the paws from his mouth. "I'll tell you while we're walking tomorrow." He shook his head, attempting to sit upright. He finally managed to return to his old position, his back against a tree. "I take it I'm forgiven?" he said weakly.

"Sure thing, buddy," Gomamon chirped, nestling his head on Joe's lap again. "Besides, nothing's as good a pillow as you are."

Joe rolled his eyes, patting Gomamon's head. "I feel honored."

Gomamon kept his eyes closed. "You should. It's one of the reasons I keep you around." Within moments of the sarcastic comment, Gomamon was asleep.

Joe smirked and turned to Izzy, saying, "Joe Kido: digidestined and ultimate pillow." Izzy didn't laugh at Joe's joke.

"Joe, why did you laugh at what I said?" Izzy asked softly.

"You mean your compassionate, sensitive, cruel rejection of me?" Joe asked. Izzy nodded. "I laughed because it was exactly what I was going to say to you," Joe explained.

Izzy's eyes widened. "You mean you thought that—"

"You were asking me," Joe finished.

"But you were the one to bring up the whole couple issue in the first place," Izzy persisted.

"You were the one who called us a 'pair'," Joe pointed out.

"So you don't want to go out with me?" Izzy asked nervously.

Joe shook his head. "Sorry, but I just don't think you're my type."

"And you're not…" he trailed off.

"Gay?" Joe suggested. "I didn't say that."

Izzy's eyes widened further. "So you are?"

"I didn't say that either," Joe said, an enigmatic expression on his face. He slapped Izzy on the back. "Relax, I'm just giving you a hard time. I guess it's something I've picked up from Gomamon. I'm straight, as straight as an arrow."

"Oh," said Izzy, strangely relieved. "Because, you know, it'd be okay if you were."

"Are you?" Joe asked suddenly. "Straight, I mean."

"As a function of a 'y identity'," Izzy said. Joe nodded his head in understanding. Izzy realized that Joe was probably the only other human there who could comprehend what he had just said.

"Well then, that's settled," said Joe with finality. "It's a good thing, too. We'd make an awful couple. For one thing, you're way too short for me."

Izzy huffed to himself. "No, you're too tall for me," he returned.

"I'm afraid you'll have that problem with everybody else here. Unless it's Kari," Joe amended. "We won't have to fight over her. She's just too young for me. It'd be kind of creepy."

"I think that if Kari and TK ever stop being friends, both of us should leave them alone. Besides, they're not a romantic couple; they're just kids."

"We're all just kids," Joe felt the need to point out.

Izzy nodded his head. "True. As for Tai and Sora, I don't see them falling apart any time in the near future."

"There's always Mimi," Joe said hopefully.

"She and Matt will probably get in a fight about who gets to hold the mirror," Izzy joked.

"Think there's anything you can do while we wait?" Joe asked.

"I could contact Gennai, see if he has any news," Izzy mused.

"Yeah, you could ask him if he knows of any more digidestined," Joe said, a knowing look on his face.

Izzy grinned. "Yeah, maybe he could find us a ninth and tenth child."

"If he takes requests, tell him a green-eyed redhead would be nice," Joe smirked.

Izzy looked at Joe quizzically. "I've been wondering: since when do you make jokes?"

Joe shrugged. "Since when do you put aside your computer so you can make idle conversation?"

"Point taken. I've been wondering something else, too. If fate brought us all together on the terrace that night, and if our personalities all developed to balance a wide spectrum of traits, then why weren't we selected to balance out gender-wise?" Izzy asked.

Joe digested this question carefully, contemplating different theories before coming to a conclusion: "I don't know. Maybe we were meant to be together," he said nervously. "Maybe by being just friends we're seriously annoying whoever it is that brought us all together."

"Or maybe we haven't paired off the way we're supposed to," Izzy suggested. "For all we know, it could be Tai and Matt who are supposed to be together."

Joe mulled over this theory seriously. "It would give us some good options. And Tai and Matt do fight an awful lot, sort of like my Aunt Rita and Uncle Henry. And if you take into account modern psychology, with all of their verbal and physical sparring, they both could really want…" Joe shook his head. "It just seems too bizarre. Besides, we're just kids. We're not really old enough, we haven't lived enough to know what we really want. Maybe we're meant to figure out who we belong with."

"That could be true," Izzy admitted, and sighed. "Or maybe we're just meant to be alone."

"At least we're alone together," Joe said, his words strangely comforting. "Let's make a deal. Let's be a team and stick together, you know, present a solid front." Joe stuck out his hand. "Deal?"

Izzy took the hand and shook it solidly. "Deal," he affirmed.

"A united front," Izzy agreed.

"Standing strong," Joe added

"Solidarity personified," Izzy finished.

A loud smack was heard coming from the woods nearby. It sounded like a raw three pound steak landing on the pavement after being dropped from the roof of a ten story house. Mimi came rushing into the fire circle, plopping herself firmly on her stump and staring into the fire, pointedly ignoring the person following her. Within moments, Matt also entered the fire circle, keeping a safe distance from Mimi. He was rubbing his jaw, now strangely red for some reason.

Joe and Izzy's eyes met for a moment. "All deals are off," Joe said.

"Agreed."


End file.
